conversations on american culture with my friend

Today I had coffee with a girlfriend who is going back to the States for five months with her family. She and her husband moved here when they had been married about one and a half years, and their twins were nine months old. They are now six. So as a family, most of their time has been here in this country.

We talked about the States, American culture, raising kids cross-culturally, going on dates in this country, learning how to tweak recipes, and other topics that really can only be related by those experiencing the same bizarre life. I’m going to miss her. They are our closest expat neighbors, geographically-speaking.

She’s excited about eating pork, getting free refills at restaurants, and generally being able to speak to a total stranger without having to think through her sentences ahead of time. She says it will be weird to be able to understand conversations surrounding her in public places.

The last time they went stateside, she marveled at how BIG everything is in the U.S. Big cars, big houses, big stores, big people. One of their first experiences was at a stoplight in their old Honda Accord that waited for them in storage while they were gone. They used to think the car was tiny, but by then, they marvelled at its roominess, and that they were able to get two whole full-sized car seats in the back. They were in the middle lane, and they noticed they were not able to see around them in any direction - they were surrounded by SUVs on all sides. They got a little claustrophobic while waiting for that green light.

Americans are also really loud in public places. She remembered being freaked out by all the shouting in restaurants and stores. I nodded in understanding, straining to hear her voice among the other muffled conversations quietly whispering around us. She’s gearing up for more shouting.

Her kids are more out of step with American culture than this one, since 80% of their life has been here. Last time they were stateside, they couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilets. They were also seriously freaked out at how big all the churches were.

I asked her what foods she was looking forward to. This got us to talking about recipes we like making, and she reminisced about a recipe they enjoyed when she and her husband first married. She couldn’t remember what it was called. “It’s not burritos, it’s not tacos…” she said. “Enchiladas?” I asked. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Enchiladas. It’s been awhile.”

Friends of theirs in the States wanted to stock some favorite food in their fridge for their arrival, so they were asked what American foods they especially missed. She really couldn’t remember any, even though she knew there were things she indeed missed. All she could think of was bacon, sausage, and Mountain Dew. So that was her order. She’s excited about going to stores and remembering products she forgot existed.
She’s really eager to go, she’s looking forward to getting fed (in multiple ways), and for the much-needed rest. But she knows it will be stressful in many unavoidable ways. I’ve heard of people having minor panic attacks walking into Target, frozen with all the (too many?) choices available. I hope that won’t happen to her. Target is to be enjoyed.

I’ll miss her companionship. And I already look forward to her return.