“Hello, and welcome. How may I help you?”
So today, Chickpea and I headed out to a quick trip to the grocery store and the park (and by “quick,” I mean two and a half hours). It was a beautiful day, and both of us needed to get out of the house.
Nothing major happened, but I was hit with the first bout of cultural… let’s just say “adjustment.”
Strangers in the U.S. are naturally friendly. I remember noticing this the first few weeks stateside, not too long ago – you walk into a restaurant, and they greet you with a smile and hearty hello. The cashier at Target chit-chats with you and asks how you’re doing. You walk by a fellow mom with a stroller, and she smiles knowingly. And don’t get me started about the employees at Chick-Fil-A.
So today, I was hit square-faced with the reminder that strangers here – well, just aren’t. I’m sure they’re perfectly nice people, but it’s not part of the culture to smile or talk if you’ve got nothing to say. The bus driver stares off into space, the woman scanning your purse at the security entrance of the grocery store (yep) looks annoyed that you’re making her do something, and the cashier has a permanent scowl on his face that says “I’m bored.”
I’m pretty sure it’s us Americans that are unusual, because this has more-or-less been the case in most countries I’ve visited. We are so gregarious that we’re known for it – we’re loud, we’re friendly, we’re boisterous. We smile to each other, as though we’ve actually got something special to smile about.
This was definitely something I enjoyed when we first got back. I loved that the Rudy’s people banter with you like you’re an old friend. I enjoy the general feeling that you’re assumed to be a kind soul unless you prove otherwise.
But I also like the quietness in public places here. We’ve often joked about this in restaurants, when we can point out the table of Americans in just a few seconds – they’re the loud ones. Stop talking for a moment and listen – you’d think you were in a library.
Sigh – I love our life. But I do wish sometimes everyday life wouldn’t be so… cross-cultural. Oh well. Small price to pay.
posted: 09 March 13
under: culture
You know, I’m Canadian and we like to think we’re not that different from Americans… but I’ve definitely noticed – from the Americans I personally know and from travelling down there – that you guys are a lot more gregarious and personal! Not to overgeneralize, because I realize there’s many exceptions, but as a whole I definitely agree with you! And we’re not across the ocean even… =)
Americans are definitely more out-going that most other cultures – be they European or other cultures. Growing up outside of the U.S., people often thought of Americans as superficial because of their warmth towards, and interest in, total strangers. I don’t know, life is different wherever you go. And having grown up in varied cultures, I can honestly say that I don’t believe there is a “good” or “bad”, just multiple ways of going about life. And ultimately, we can all learn from each other.
I liked your post. I thought it was respectful.
Oh I SO am in the middle of what you are talking about here on American soil. The first week or so we were here, a man in the Walmart parking lot apparently was speaking to me and being friendly but I was ignoring him like I had gotten used to. He got upset with me for not being friendly back to him yelling “I’m a person! You gonna ignore me?” I was shocked, and had no idea even of his presence, after all we’re supposed to ignore strange men. And yes the Target cashier has been extremely chatty and I got annoyed with the Bath and Body Works ladies yesterday for being so smiley and following me around trying to be helpful! That does NOT happen in our mutually shared home across the ocean. And yes EVERY time we are at Chick-Fil-A, we are constantly amazed at how nice and helpful and genuinely interested in our well-being they are. One time a worker actually ran across the parking lot in the rain with an umbrella to help me and the kids get in the restaurant without getting wet! I don’t know how long they’ve been around, but we are LOVING how they provide those tape-on plastic placemats there – genius! The wife of the owner of 2 of the Chick-Fil-A’s in our hometown is part of the group coming to visit us in July and I am seriously considering asking her to bring me a bunch so I can carry them around after we return!
I had a similar experience when I moved from NYC back home to the Pacific Northwest – the people at the grocery stores would scare me with their overt friendliness because I couldn’t figure out if I was supposed to know them, if they wanted something … or what. It took awhile to get used to again.