“He gives strength to the weary…
Though youths grow weary and tired…
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.”
Isaiah 40:29-31

I. Am. Tired. (You brand-new moms, feel free to stop reading, because I know I’ll get NO pity from you.) A few months ago I discovered a key difference between my being productive or fruitless, energetic or stoic, at peace or fearful, smiling at the future or anxious about the massive to-do list. And that key is SLEEP. I need it so much more than I think I do. My most telling sign that I need to hit the hay is not yawning and drowsiness, it’s crankiness, nagging thoughts towards Kabob, a flustered dance where I must clean everything NOW, and pessimism towards the world around me. My mind rambles down that path, and I hit the brakes, turn off the lights, and go brush my teeth. It’s bedtime.

It really, truly makes a world of difference for me. I know most of you are thinking, “Duh.” And I agree with that reaction, except that I’ve been surprised at how much lack of sleep affects my attitude, my emotions, my success at turning routine days into good things, my smiling-at-the-future. Last fall I was concerned that I was slipping into a mild depression, which confused me to no end. I read up on non-chemical remedies and prevention, and somewhere in all that I thought – why not just go to bed? Lo and behold, a week into getting a solid 8 hours sleep each night, and I was a new person. I laughed at the thought that I was even concerned over depression. The fog lifted, the right-thinking returned, and I loved it so much I pursued a habit of turning in around 10 p.m. and rising at 6 a.m. I now can’t imagine life without it.

Somehow, this week, I’ve been getting HORRIBLE sleep, and it’s a chilling reminder how lost in the battlefield I am without adequate sleep. I think my alarm has wakened me each morning from a bizarre dream, where usually my body emerges from sleep a few minutes before the clock beeps. Tate has been a bad sleeper as well, so she’s just been ornery – and when I’m faced with that every single day, for most of the day… Let’s just say I’ve been struggling with a good attitude. I’ve also been in a daze, clouded over, and the house has not run anywhere close to a well-oiled machine. Well, not that it usually does, but at least I manage to get laundry done on Thursdays, bills paid on Mondays, dishes out of the dishwasher before they pile up in the sink, etc. etc. Not this week. I look around and can physically see a symptom of my lack of sleep.

I’m not trying to depress you. In fact, I started this post thinking it would be my explanation of why the muse hasn’t flown near my blog lately, but it’s morphed into a screw-it-I-just-want-to-crawl-into-bed diatribe. Sorry about that. Sigh… Off to down my coffee and spend some quality time in prayer. Let’s just say I’m glad it’s Friday.

posted: 06 June 2
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