Wow.  That’s all I can say about the past four months of living overseas so far.  I could actually say that about the past nine months, when we first moved out of our place in Austin and started our whirlwind time of preparation.  Some of our journey has been predictable and routine, but, quite frankly, not much of it.  It’s something I crave right now.

But it looks like that won’t be happening anytime soon.

If you get our e-mail upates, you know a little about what’s going on with us.  But since I tend to blog about our everyday life here, it would be a bit hard to just pretend everything’s the same with us and talk about what recipe I made for dinner, or what cute thing Chickpea said at the park that day.

Oh, how I wish that was the extent of what was going on with us.

But seeing as we’ll be in another country in just a few days, it would make sense to at least divulge that bit of info.  It’s all come together insanely quickly – I can’t believe how fast all our plans have been made, actually.  It’s overwhelming, it’s relieving, it’s exhausting, it’s exhilarating, it’s nerve-wracking, and it’s comforting, all rolled into one.  God has been so faithful in providing direction, finances, wisdom, and experienced people in our life the past few weeks, so much so that I can’t help but step back, look at my life, and quietly say, “to God be the glory.”

In just a few days we are going to Thailand for two months.  Last week at our conference I was diagnosed with major depression (also called ‘chemical depression’), which, quite honestly, was the most relieving thing that’s happened to us since we moved overseas.  And, God bless our organization, they not only have the resources to take care of its members, they see it as utmost priority that we are well.  For this reason, they have asked us to go to Thailand for a few months on a medical leave, to start the road to recovery, to focus on our getting better, and to hear from Lord about what all this means.  We should be back to our current country in late August.

This is not something new in our life, though it might seem like that to you on the outside.  Looking back, we are positive I had this illness before we left overseas – that moving overseas didn’t cause the depression, it simply brought it to the surface.  And believe me, depression is very common among those in our line of work.  We don’t feel alone in the slightest.  We’re lonely, perhaps, for friendships and for regular life, but we feel completely supported and encouraged by the Body.

So what does this mean?  We don’t really know, beyond the two months, honestly.  It means we are taking life one day at a time, and that we are going to focus on us as a family – and with all the preparation and living-out-of-a-suitcase lifestyle we’ve done the past few years, I’m not sure we’ve focused soley on our family in a looooong time.  It is very-much needed.

Kabob has been absolutely amazing.  Not only does he continually remind me that I’m more important than any “plan,” he also sees all this as something we are walking through together.  I don’t have depression, we have depression.  He has had so much forbearance, so much patience, so much kindness, for months and months now.  I am blessed beyond words to be married to him.

I really do believe it now when they say chemical depression is a physical illness, not an emotional or spiritual issue.  It has emotional and spiritual ramifications, but these things didn’t cause my depression.  We’re very much looking forward to getting the physical help, so that we can focus on the emotional and spiritual side of things.

I could go into my whole long story with depression up till now, and what it’s been like dealing with it cross-culturally, but quite honestly, we are upbeat for the first time in months, and the diagnosis alone has me rejoicing.  I know I’ll have to start digging up root issues soon, so I just don’t feel like doing that now, on my blog.  Maybe later, we’ll see.

Why did I decide to go ahead and share all this here? Well, for one, if I didn’t, I’d have nothing to share on this blog for the next few months.  Not that that’s really important in light of life, but it would be weird for me not to really share with friends and family the heart of the path God is leading us down.  I want the freedom to share or not share, however I feel, the good and the bad.  Secondly, we covet your prayers.  They are desperately needed.

So, this leads me to my usual song and dance of not knowing our internet access for the next few weeks, we’ll be traveling a ton, yadda yadda yadda.  I feel like I’m constantly saying this.  Pray for our crazy flying-with-a-toddler life we seem to be leading.  She’s been such a trooper, but I know she’s exhausted.  And she wants to be home, wherever that is.  She’s already been to more countries than a lot of adults I know.

That’s all for now.  Just small potatoes.

posted: 07 June 28
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