Raising kids internationally

Here’s something odd - right now, it’s 59 degrees (warm for here). Tonight, we’re supposed to get a BLIZZARD. As in, winds up to 35 miles an hour and possible snow drifts several feet high. How crazy is that? The answer is VERY. For this Texan, at least.

Kabob took Chickpea outside to play before heck freezes over here, so I’m taking this very rare moment of alone time to process some of the info we were given today. The afternoon session was on language learning as a family, and what that looks like for kiddos. There was nothing I hadn’t heard before (in fact, I heard this exact talk, five years ago), but everything really resonated with me today. So pardon me, but I’m going to use this blog to help me digest in writing what I just consumed through the ears. Thank you.

• In going overseas, we are raising world citizens (as opposed to American citizens). We will be giving them a big world. In return, we will need to let them explore that world when the time comes.

• Third-Culture Kids (TCKs) will reflect the attitude that their parents have about them being TCKs. If we reinforce the idea that they are the luckiest kids in the world to live the way they do, they’ll feel blessed. Likewise, if we express guilt that because of us, they aren’t living in the States, they’ll feel sorry for themselves.

• TCKs tend to be gifted children. For example, in one study, 1 out of 6,000 kids in “Who’s Who in America” were children of dentists. 1 out of 7 kids were TCKs.

• Not only are they cross-cultural, TCKs tend to be cross-generational. They usually relate well to older and younger generations.

• Something important for Kabob and me to decide - Which language will we speak at home? Children whose home language is English tend to feel a little more at home when they’re in the U.S. The folks here at MTI recommend speaking English at home. However, when a national is present, even in the home, speak the national’s language to everybody present.

• It’s rare, but every now and then, when you take a child that has just begun to speak to a new country (aka Chickpea), they’ll regress in their speaking. Their brain is saying, “You need to listen more than speak.” If it happens, and it’s rare, it usually only lasts about six weeks.

• Never say never about any schooling option for the kids. Don’t assume you’ll never homeschool, send them to a national school, an international school, or even boarding school (I really can’t imagine that last one right now). You’ll be amazed at what’s the best option for that kid at that time.

• Overall, the highest priority is to do what’s best for the kids. Schooling and language options aren’t as important as your relationship with your children, and they know that. If you make family life a priority, they’ll thrive. If they sense the “ministry” comes before their livelihood, they could build up resentment, bitterness, and anger. Your family IS ministry.

I have thoughts on a lot of this, but I want to mull over it a bit more. Overall, I’m so thankful to be in a place and to learn the things that hit home to us right now. In the “real world” we so seldom get that - even in church. Here, we’re normal.