The golden years
My friend Brooke says that ages 4 to 7 are “the golden years.” I only have a month into age four, but so far, I can attest this is true. I don’t know what it is, but age four is so, so, so much better than age three. So far.
I’ve been reminded of this because we’ve got new American neighbors with a just-turned three-year-old. He’s a sweet boy, but he’s definitely… three. Testing boundaries, holding his ground, still not quite at that conversational age – all typical symptoms of that two-to-three age.
Chickpea still has at least one timeout a day, and we still have occassional attitude issues, so it’s definitely not an era of perfection. But overall, she’s sweet, she’s compliant, she’s genuinely helpful both in the kitchen and with her baby brother, and she can hold a decent (and usually funny) conversation. In general, it seems as though she wants to obey. Crazy.
I almost hesitate hitting “publish” here, because I feel like it may jinx things. But when I told my new neighbor mom that Chickpea was a lot like her son just a year ago, she seemed encouraged. So perhaps this would encourage someone else, hearing that there’s a semblance of life past the two-to-three stage. Looking back (all two months ago, you know)… that stage is rough. Exhausting. A battle oftentimes.
And I look at my darling 14-month-old son and think, no way will he ever test his boundaries. But I know I thought the same thing about Chick at his age. I should use this sweet time to refresh my battle plan and restock my artillery.
I’m mostly rambling here, but my point – having a three-year-old is rough. Having a four-year-old, so far, is much better.
posted: 09 March 15
under:
Yes, yes, yes!!!
My firstborn is about as strong-willed as they come, and as a first-time mom, all I had heard was about the “terrible twos”. I was totally freaked out as we headed toward three and things began to escalate and we began to have such huge issues in pretty much every area of life. Terrible twos? HA!
Thankfully, my mom mentioned at one point that one of her mentors had assured her when my sister was three that four was so much better, and she assured me that it really happened, almost with the turn of a switch, at four. About that time, I happened across Dooce’s blog (one I don’t normally read), and she had posted her “Forty-nine months” letter to her daughter in which she said almost the exact same thing.
I held on for dear life through three, and sure enough, at four I felt like everything changed – she and I connected on a deeper level, she no longer felt the need to disobey just for the sake of disobeying. In short, everything was better. Now we’ve got a new three year old, and it’s so much easier to handle having already come out on the other side with her big sister. But I can’t believe how few people talk about it!!
Thanks so much, Tsh. We are definitely in the battle right now!
Your post gives me hope that it will, indeed, be a Merry Christmas around here (when Suzy turns 4).
I felt that way too… until Buster turned 5. I think it’s been the most hair-raising age so far. It’s so much more attitude and sneaky underhandedness… but he never hit the “terrible twos” so maybe this is it, just 3 years late.!
Thank you for this. I stumbled on your Simple Mom blog a few months back and have really enjoyed and gleaned a lot from both blogs. I just got through disciplining our two and a half year old a few minutes before reading this post. Very timely for me! I needed this encouragement.
You have given me hope! Noah won’t be four til September, but I think I can hang on.:)
Thank you, oh-thank-you for this post. I have a little boy who turned 3 in June and I swear that the very first week he was 3, he was a horror (or, as you say, “tough”). He never went through the supposed terrible twos, but the threes– boy, oh boy. And the more I talk to parents of older kids, they all remark how tough 3 was. And how great 4 is! I’m glad to hear that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Only 10 more months to go! (*praying for patience*)